I am my sister keeper………..Now
I look at the state of society and I’m so glad I’m a changed person. I’m one of those women who can say “I wasn’t always my sister’s keeper” I grew up in a family full of women yet didn’t know how to interact with other women. My mother the oldest of 3 sisters only had a good relationship with one of her sisters and had very few female friends. Not only did I have that example but I grew up in a physically & mentally abusive household. I wasn’t taught how to have productive relationships with anyone let alone women. I had my family but that was a given, I had to love them RIGHT? So not being taught the value of female connection I didn’t know how to be a friend. I was a shell. I spent most of my life well into my 20’s mind you I’m only now in my 30’s not knowing how to maintain any relationship with women.
Some time in my mid 20’s I took a moment to reflect and realized I had become what I most disliked in women, the shady, catty, angry type. Instead of looking at another woman and saying “wow, maybe she needs help” because of how she was dressed, I laughed and judged. I made no attempt to stay close to (female) friends and the females who I held relationships with were few and far between. So I asked myself why? I realized I’d developed a mentality that if it wasn’t family they couldn’t be trusted and sometimes they were questionable too. It was at that point I made a conscious decision to make a change. I always had a nurturing spirit but I was afraid to use it having been hurt and exposed to such negative examples of female connection BUT I wanted to be different. I wanted the female bond I saw with the women on television. The share everything, cry, laugh, ride & live relationship. So I took a stand.
I began to for lack of a better term “Be the change I wanted to see” yes I got hurt sometimes physically as well as emotionally but I stood my ground. I had decided to be my sister’s keeper. I decided when my spirit connects to another woman for whatever reason………That’s my sister. Though I may not like all her ways and or decisions, that’s my sister. Good, bad or indifferent, that’s my sister and when life’s challenges knock her down because society says she’s not what she should be I’m there to pick her up simply because That’s my sister.
We as women have it hard enough battling against society with televisions perception of what we should look like, act like and talk like. We shouldn’t have to go through a constant battle amongst each other. What in the world are we competing for? There’s no need for comparison we are all beautiful and talented in our own right, God created us that way. I pray daily that our next generation of young ladies begins to see it that way and learn to define themselves by the book. No longer labeling them selves a “boss chick” but speaking as it should be that they are virtuous women. Ladies let’s be careful how we uphold or knock down our sisters. The seed we plant if fertilizer for the need generation. Let’s not water them down with self hatred, animosity, gossip and ridicule but let’s feed them with love, encouragement, friendship and a bond that says you are never alone. First and foremost you always have God and second I’m here to stay, laugh, cry & pray because “I AM MY SISTER’S KEEPER & YOU ARE MY SISTER”
Lady -Fanta Harvey